About

About Us:

There is no ‘us’.

You and me, we’re finished. Get over it and move on with your life.

About Me:

I am Andrew Somethingson.

I dropped out of an apocalyptic abyss somewhere toward the start of the eighties, possibly because God had run out of locusts, and I’ve been wandering this barren planet ever since. I live in Oxford, UK, where I spend my time hating people and endlessly rewriting the ‘about me’ pages on the various outlets for my internet-based contempt.

I am a prolific writer; author of ‘The Handbook Writer’s Handbook’, ‘The Manual Manual’ and ‘The Oxford Companion To Loneliness’. I have many fingers in many pies, but my first passion is for taking the piss. I’m always on the lookout for new opportunities to do so, and if you come across something absurd on the internet, or have a project I might be interested in working on, send it my way and it will be duly ignored.

About The Site:

Is it real? Inevitably some people would rather believe that I fabricate these conversations than that there really are people as crazy or inane as this walking amongst us every day. I sympathise with this view, but sadly, all of the people and conversations depicted here are real. I never fake any of the exchanges you see. I know that sometimes it seems almost too ridiculous to be true, but trust me, there are people out there like that. I go looking for them. And for every one nutjob that I manage to engage in conversation, there are roughly three sensible people who ignore my messages and see my nonsense for what it is.

The Somethingson site started life as a poxy little blog; a way for me to share some of my facebook arguments and real-life altercations with the miserable dickheads that pretend to be my friends. I had never heard the term ‘trolling’ at that time; I was just a lone arsehole making himself laugh. In fact, back then, the internet did not even exist and I had to invent it in order to host my site.

Somethingson grew in size through word of mouth, much like my legendary undercarriage, and eventually outgrew the confines of the WordPress.com host. The site was relaunched on the 16th July 2010, to massive hysterical fanfare, and I was guaranteed an endless stream of pussy for the remainder of my life.

Some other cool stuff happened after that, with ninjas, and there was this totally amazing alien scene, but I don’t want to give too much of the plot away. You can either follow me on twitter or subscribe to my RSS feed or ignore me and get on with your life.

Enjoy,

Somethingson