Book Review: Speaking as a Ninja…

NinjaBeing shrouded in a mysterious cloak of darkness as I lie in wait for my foes can be a lonely and uninspiring process and experience has taught me that it’s always best to bring a book.

While I do enjoy a good Dan Brown novel and can speak nothing but praise for the latest Anne McCaffrey, it is nice, every once in a while, to read on topics much closer to home. On the long and arduous march toward infinite karmic justice, escapism like this can play an important role; but there’s only so much time one can spend reading about dragons and ancient codes before a yearning sets in for something more life-like and real.

When I came across this book, my sword of ultimate unity glowed red hot with the spirits of my ancestors and I knew at once that not to purchase it would mean my exclusion from the afterlife and the wrath of my forebears.
I hastily complied.

The book contains many handy hints on how to subject your prey to the whims of your superior mind, with a keen emphasis on total glory. The tone is instructive and informative, making it the perfect companion to both the experienced ninjutsu practitioner and the complete novice. The many colourful diagrams illustrate well the application of these time-honoured death secrets, hitherto guarded for centuries by an elite band of Renaissance-themed turtle-esque humanoids, but available now for under ten pounds.

My one criticism is that, whilst there were detailed instructions on how to crush the skull of your enemy into a fine, flammable dust and blow it into the grave you made them dig, there was little information on how to make it combust. I had to search for those details amongst my reflection in a quiet, lilied pond. Not a huge complaint, but I just think it should have been included.

Anyway, a great buy, and fits conveniently into the side of a kimono. Enjoy, and may your peace be eternal, your victories complete.

A D Somethingson, freelance ninja

Click here to see my review on Amazon

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